Husband can take a second Wife without the consent and knowledge of his First Wife?

Husband can take a second Wife without the consent and knowledge of his First Wife?

The polygamy in Islam is such a complex topic, and I’m not here to explain in which conditions a man can take a second wife or where is this in the Quran. I’m not going deep in this topic .  I’m do not have much knowledge. I’m still learning but I could make this question to people who have and could explain me in different ways.

Please READ CAREFULLY the following answers

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“Assalamu o waleikum,

I'm not against polygamy and I believe that Allah s.w.t made this act optional for a reason so some can benefit from it. The fact is, it's not for everyone! We must not try to make sisters feel guilty and make them think that they're committing a grave sin if they don't accept polygamy and practice it.

Had Allah (swt) wanted every woman to accept polygamy, He would've ordered women directly in the Quran to accept polygamy and adhere to it. It would've been a norm, widely accepted and practiced. If a woman doesn't accept or practice polygamy then there's no sin on her.

If a woman is married and her husband decides to take a second wife and she disagrees and fears that she won't be just & fair in dealing with her husband and co-wives then she can ask for a divorce. You can't force a free woman to accept/practice polygamy.

Women don't need education on polygamy but men do that's why Allah has revealed the verse in Quran (4:3).

"And if you fear that you may not be just to the orphans, then you may marry whom you please of the women: two, and three, and four. But if you fear you will not be fair, then only one, or what your right hand possesses. This is best that you do not face financial hardship" Quran (4:3)

Polygamy comes with strict terms and conditions which most of the men don't meet anyways. They don't practice polygamy to help the vulnerable/helpless women's (widows, single mothers and in some cases divorcees) like our Prophet (peace be upon him) practiced.

What does the Quran say about polygamy?

Can a man be married to more than one woman at the same time and whenever he pleases?

The straightforward answer is NO.

The Quran presents only one very specific situation in which a man may have more than one wife, but even then, God advises that it is better to be married to just one wife at any one time.

Before we present the Quranic view on this matter, it must be said that Muslims today have badly corrupted God’s law in the Quran as they allow men to marry up to four wives at will, while acting totally oblivious to the conditions set by God for this concession. They justify this by making ridiculous excuses such as their claim that men have a much higher sex drive than women, thus God accommodated men accordingly!

To make such outrageous claims is devious enough, but they also support their claims with various notorious fabricated Hadith which do nothing but slur the image of the righteous and totally devoted prophet of God. One such Hadith states:

Sahih Bukhari, Volume 1, Book 5, Number 268:

Narrated by Qatada

Anas bin Malik said, "The Prophet used to have sexual intercourse with all his wives one after the other during the day and night and they were eleven in number." I asked Anas, "Had the Prophet the strength for it?" Anas replied, "We used to say that the Prophet was given the strength of thirty (men)." And Sa'id said on the authority of Qatada that Anas had told him about nine wives only (not eleven).

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If we examine the Quranic evidence we find the concession given in the following verse:

“And if you fear that you may not be just to the orphans, then you may marry whom you please of the women: two, and three, and four. But if you fear you will not be fair, then only one, or what your right hand possesses. This is best that you do not face financial hardship.” 4:3

What is immediately noticeable from the above words is that the word "if" (inn in Arabic) at the beginning of the verse is a conditional word. What follows after the word "if" is thus a condition that must be met in order for what comes after it to be possible.

This means that if a man is not supporting any orphans or being entrusted to protect the possessions of orphans, then it is not lawful for him to marry more than one wife. If a man is supporting orphans or acting as a guardian to them, then taking a second wife for the purpose of looking after the orphans and giving them a mother figure would be allowed.

In verse 4:2 God speaks of orphans, protecting their money, and warning against consuming their money unjustly. God is speaking to the men who are entrusted with the protection of orphans and their money. If a man fears that he cannot perform the duty as a guardian to the orphans and their money on his own, and in a just manner, then he is permitted to marry the woman of his choice to bring a motherly figure who would support the man in the raising of the orphans. God allows 2, 3 and 4 (depending on the number of orphans the man is taking care of).

It must be stated here that this concession is allowed purely for the benefit of the orphans and not to allow men a varied sexual life (as those hypocrites claim)!

We also note the very important words in 4:3:

“If you fear you will not be fair, then only one, or what your right hand possesses.”

These words must be read in conjunction with the following Quranic words:

“You will not be able to treat all women equally even if you wish to do so.” 4:129

If we combine the content of 4:3 and 4:129 it becomes obvious that God is very clearly discouraging more than one wife. God only allows this action under very strict conditions and even when these conditions are satisfied, God still advises no more than one.

Munira Begum

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**Get a 2nd, but lose my 1st??**

A brother asked my sheikh: "I want a second wife but my current wife is extremely jealous. If I marry again, is it allowed for her to ask for a divorce?"

He replied: "Is it allowed for you to put her through such a trial and fitnah?"

There's no doubt that polygamy (plural marriage) is from our deen, and among the purposes of marriage is the establishment of a household. If getting a second means destroying the first, you are defeating this noble purpose to begin with.

There is a famous principle of fiqh that says: "Preventing harm takes PRIORITY over achieving good."

This teaches us that although there is benefit in having a 2nd, 3rd or 4th, if that is going to cause harm such as divorce, losing your kids and ruining their upbringing, then preventing these things takes #1 priority.

Furthermore Allaah said:

“And among His Signs is that He created for you wives from among yourselves, so that you may live in TRANQUILITY..." [Qur'an 30:21]

Our homes are meant to be sanctuaries of peace and harmony, not trenches for World War 3. Remember, the grass isn't always greener on the other side, it's greener when you water it.

Muhammad Al-Bizry

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The first wife may stipulate a condition in the marriage contract that the husband must not take a second wife. It is obligatory upon the husband to fulfil the condition and should he violate it the wife has the right to annul the marriage. In such a case the husband will only be allowed the right to take a second wife if the first wife withdraws the condition.

And I also want to add this:

واٍلی هذا ذهب الامام أحمد ورجحه این تیمیة واین القیم وذهبوا کذ لک إٍلی أن الشرط عٍکن أن یکون لفظیا، وفی بعض الأحوال عٍکن أٌن یکون عرفیأ ، أٍذا جاءت الفتاهٔ من أّسرة یٌعرف عنها أٌنها لاتقبل أٌن یتزومج أٌن علیها زوجها

انتی کلام

This is the opinion of Imam Ahmed, founder of the Hanbali school and is further preferred by Ibn Taymiyyah and Ibn-Al-Qayyim. They also allowed the condition to be verbal (not necessarily written) or if it is the norm (urf) for the girl's family, i.e. if the girl's family is known to oppose having another wife next to their daughter. (Fiqh Al Sunnah, Volume 6, Page 231-232)

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I find it disconcerting when the subject of polygamy is spoken about with no equitable mention of the concept of "urf". "Urf" has a huge position in our religion, and that which is societal customary, as long as it does not contravene any Islamic ruling, *is* absolutely to be respected.

I never get the argument that "I wouldn't never stand in my husband's way if he wanted to take another wife because it's halal / sunna" (paraphrasing here). I actually would stand in my husband's way if he wanted to take a second wife...even though it is halal...and my reason is that even though it is halal, it is not from mine nor his nor our 4 children's British Muslim sub cultural norm, or 'urf'. Neither I nor he has mothers/aunts etc in polygamous marriages. Our children would not be able to get their heads around the idea that their dad has another wife. I honestly don't think I'd know how to relate to him if he had such another dimension to his life; how would we receive him when he came home from his other wife's? Would that place euphemistically be termed "the other house"? 

Would we kiss him goodbye as he sets off; as we do when he does for work? The devil is in the detail, and these are questions I'd urge him to answer if he told me he wanted to take a second wife.

I fear I'm rambling, but my point is that just because it is is halal it is not ubiquitously right full stop. It is not OK in all scenarios simply because it is halal. It is a practice sanctioned in Islam that is heavily steeped in culture. Polygamy can't work anywhere for everyone *just* because it's halal.

Celina Hanif

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Salam